I didn’t watch the Miss USA pageant (I rarely do, and if I do, it’s usually for the dresses), but I saw a picture of the winner in the paper this morning.
She’s 20.
Twenty. That’s it.
My mom and I were talking about it this morning, and I went, “Mom, she’s only 20! She doesn’t look 20!”
My mom goes, “Well, she has makeup on, that’s why.”
Let me tell you something. I’m 20. And I do not look like that when I wear makeup. It would be pretty darn nice if I did, but I do not.
I look like this:
Hmm you don’t look so bad.
This would be me on a runway:


